My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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