i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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