We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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