uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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