You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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