my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
