You really coming over, don't trick.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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