Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
