Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
