he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
