used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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