I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize