Plan B is the new Plan A
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
