will power is for people who don't want to get laid
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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