I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
