I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
