my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
