Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
