I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
