The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
