Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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