I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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