My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
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