trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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