LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
