I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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