I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
