just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
