haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
