Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize