I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
