how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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