his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize