the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
