Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
