Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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