Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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