she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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