That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
