You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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