I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
