So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Sorry about my life...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
