I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
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Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize