Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
