hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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