walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
