I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
im drinking this country out of the recession.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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