I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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