I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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