so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
