Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
