She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
