I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize