I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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