He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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