I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
