at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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