Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
