I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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