Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
