I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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