Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
