Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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