I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
