i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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