Who did Billy Mays play for?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
